What James didn't know
by RemusLupin's Wife
Summary: James and Lily were meant to be together... right? Well, Sirius won't let this stand in the way. He know his feelings for her and her knows her's for him. He wouldn't give up that easy as long as Lily didn't. It would just have to be their lil sercret
1. Default Chapter

"What James didn't know"  
  
A/N: I really tried hard and wanted to make this story work. But at the same time I wanted to keep the characters well... in character. I really hope you guys like and if you do you simply must review this moment (you know when your done reading it, duh!). This is actually the result of me staying up all night, playing random MP3's, and chugging down probably a caseload of pixie sticks. I hope this story will be to your like, please tell me, whether it is or isn't. Just if you simply must flame me, at least be nice about it k? K! - *Nat!  
  
Chapter one- 'picture perfect'  
  
Sirius reached down towards the snow sprinkled ground with his glove- covered hand. It was a cold December day in the marauders' 6th year, but the snow had at least stopped falling long enough for them to venture out for a walk.  
  
Sirius tightly packed the snow he had picked up from the ground, his eyes glinting mischievously. He noted Remus shaking his head at him from his side, but Sirius' attention was narrowed to the back of his best friend's head. James was stopped a few feet away from him, hand in hand with Lily Evans. James was just turning towards Lily, when Sirius chose this moment to fire away.  
  
'Smack' the snowball hit James square in the head, causing James to cringe as the icy snow slipped down the back of his robes. Lily had backed away a couple feet from James and shot Sirius a glare for being so childish.  
  
But Sirius was too busy laughing with Remus, who was clutching his knees to support him from the laughter.  
  
"Padfoot" James growled as he slowly turned around, fixing his glasses to straighten on his nose bridge.  
  
"Sorry mate, couldn't resist" Sirius laughed.  
  
James turned his glare to Remus who was still laughing.  
  
"What??" Remus asked James innocently "It was fun-"  
  
But Remus' sentence was interrupted as another snowball flew and hit his sandy brown hair. It was James turn to laugh as he admired his best mates work. Remus just scowled at the pair of them, trying to brush all of the snowflakes out of his hair.  
  
"You are so childish Sirius" Lily said shaking her head and rolling her eyes.  
  
"Why I thank you," Sirius said, leaning in to a mock bow. ***********  
  
Even as they entered the warmth of the heated castle again Sirius was still bitterly cold. His hands were soaked and his cheeks were pink from the cold. He rubbed his hands along his arms trying to warm himself as he shuddered involuntarily.  
  
Sirius glanced over to his right and saw Remus picking at random stands of his hair, making sure no more snow was on them.  
  
Sirius chuckled and turned to his left, his eyes ending on James and closer to him, the love of his life. Lily Evans was too busy taking her red wet knitted gloves off and reviling her slender fingers with bright red nail polish to even notice Sirius staring at her with an evil grin.  
  
Sirius loved everything about her. He loved her flowing red hair, her rose colored lips, her vivid green eyes that held so much meaning every time you looked in them. He loved the way she looked when she got angry after Sirius and James interrupted her studies. He loved the way she would roll her eyes and smirk at him when he acted stupid. He loved the way she would look when she was left out of a 'girl talk' because she didn't have many friends and the way she would brighten up once she saw him, James, Remus, and some times even Peter walking through the door. Of course the only problem was... James loved that too.  
  
Sirius shuttered once more before he wrapped his arms around the brilliant beauty that everyone knew belonged to James. He playfully rubbed his arms around Lily's body up and down and leaned his head on her shoulder while saying:  
  
"Come on Lil, warm me up! Come on Lily I'm cold here"  
  
"Sirius, come on, get off!" Lily squealed, laughing as she tried to pull herself from Sirius' strong grasp "Sirius, cut it out! Get off!!"  
  
Sirius finally stopped persisting and took his arms, though unwillingly, off of Lily. He was glad to see James and Remus chuckling. They both thought it was a big joke, as usual. They both though he was just playing around, as usual. But then again, he was partly depressing that they were laughing at this, that they thought it was another one of his stupid antics. Because that meant they all thought he was just a friend... and would never win the heart of this stunning women beside him. ***********  
  
"Do you really think this will be the last year they make a Hogwarts yearbook Prongs?" Sirius asked while vaguely finishing up the essay on transfiguring humans that McGonagall had assigned over the weekend (he had waiting until the last minute, Sunday night, to finish it).  
  
James looked up from his quidditch magazine he had in hand and down to Sirius, who ahs sitting on the floor leaning up against the couch so he could write on the table in front of him. James, Peter, and Remus were all on the red sofa Sirius was leaning against (Peter, frantically trying to figure out his homework and Remus with his nose in another book).  
  
Sirius knew James knew what he was talking about. Dumbledore had mentioned that this might be the last year they made a Hogwarts yearbook. The yearbooks had been able to always capture the marauders every year; Sirius thought it was kind of sad they wouldn't be continuing it anymore.  
  
"I guess so, and speak of the devil Sirius, here comes Trent now" James said, glancing over towards a dark looking boy with a camera in hand whom walking towards them.  
  
Trent Weaver was a 7th year that mostly kept to himself. His best friend was probably his camera, and even though he could easily make friends, he didn't talk much. But he did write a lot in a notebook that he never let anyone see. He had chestnut brown shoulder length hair and dark gray eyes. He had broad shoulders, a pointed nose, about the height of Remus, and was pretty lean.  
  
Trent opened his mouth to say something, but James cut him off.  
  
"Yes, yes, we know, get in for a picture," said James setting down his quidditch magazine on the armrest. Trent was one of the main photographers for the school year book.  
  
Sirius quickly stood from the ground. He threw his body on the couch over the boys causing Peter to throw his homework parchment up in fright and Remus to gasp for breath. Sirius leaned his face on his hand and glanced up at Remus who was aching an eyebrow at him.  
  
'Flash' Trent to the picture and strode away from the marauders. Sirius noticed Trent had a look as if he thought they were all insane on.  
  
"Well mate, I'm turning in," James finally declared after an hour. He pushed himself up from the couch and let out a breath as he turned to leave.  
  
"Night Lil" James said kissing her lightly on the cheek. She was just now walking towards them from her own corner she had been studying in.  
  
"Yeah Padfoot, I think I'll go with him. Classes tomorrow member" Remus said shutting his book closed with a 'snap' and following James up the stairs.  
  
"I remember Moony, night"  
  
"You coming Padfoot?" Peter asked Sirius once he had made his own way to the stairs. Peter had just been able to finish the homework he had been assigned.  
  
"Be there in a minute Wormtail, night"  
  
"Night"  
  
Sirius looked back to the only other person there was in the common room now. Lily smiled suspiciously at Sirius as she took a seat next to him, sinking slightly into the sofa.  
  
"Aren't you tired?" Lily asked him  
  
She was driving Sirius mad at the moment. He couldn't pull his gaze away from her. Something that happened today, the look that she had given him after he was asking her to warm him, it somehow filled him with hope, Her look had been full of love, it could've been love for a friend, but he needed to know. He needed to know if there was still a chance. James was the world to him, his best mate for all time, but at the moment his brain was working on a different level other then being rational. That was why he had stayed, stayed to linger his eyes over her gorgeous emerald eyes.  
  
"What ARE you looking at?" Lily asked slightly annoyed from his staring. She flipped her hand out and said "Well??"  
  
"You" Sirius said in a romantic whisper, brushing Lily's sleek red hair from her face.  
  
"Could you be more forward?" Lily said sarcastically thinking it was just another one of his jokes.  
  
Sirius knew this was it, the moment of truth. He could barely muster the mental strength, which was quiet surprising, but he finally took the opportunity he had been waiting for a while now.  
  
"Let me try" Sirius said soft, not shifting his gaze in the slightest.  
  
Before Lily could retort, before she would even start to look confused at this comment, Sirius reached his hand behind Lily's head and pulled their heads to meet. Her lips felt like rose petals caressing as they landed on his own lips. He felt in total bliss, but after about five seconds he was finally able to gain his composer back enough to pull away Lily's intoxicating aroma of jasmine and the breathtaking feeling that had been tingling through out his body when their lips meant.  
  
He had felt it, he knew he had. Even as Lily looked speechlessly at Sirius her eyes filled to the brim with confusion, he knew he felt it. She had kissed back and she knew it. Lily gulped slightly, her green eyes that were wide as saucers not leaving Sirius satisfied gaze. Lily opened her mouth as if to say something, but suddenly took to the stairs, to confused to even say anything.  
  
Sirius wasn't mad, he wasn't sad, he wasn't even worried. He had felt it and that was all the counted. He was in seventh heaven and nothing could take him off this high. Nothing that was, until he tucked in for bed and saw James in the bed next to him. Because this was the moment he realize just was a moronic idiot he had been and started to slowly realize just what had happened down there. 


	2. A quick authors note

Author note: Hey everyone!!! Thanks so much for review you, those of you who did anyway. And also to those people who read the stories even if you didn't review, because it still all good! Anyway. I guess I didn't make it clear or maybe cause I wrote it like at 4 in the morning, but I wasn't really planning for it to be a story thing. Just kind of a short poster chapter on what happened between Sirius and Lily. F.y.i, that means that they did have a little fling going on for a while, but Sirius finally (obviously) ended it. So I wasn't clear you know what sugar does to the mind. But I guess I could continue soccerstar1, but I mean only if you want! Anyway, thanks again for review my story, I really appreciate all reviews! - *Nat! 


	3. Keeping his cool

A/N::: Just thought I'd let you know, I had some spare time and I forgot all about my FF.net s/n so I decided to come back here and update. I have a few most chapters on hold that I have ready for this story. If you want me to keep going, just review and give me the word- *Nat!  
  
Chapter two- 'keeping his cool'  
  
Sirius woke up the next morning feeling like he was on no sleep. It felt like he had been stay up all night worrying about something, his head was so confused. 'Wow, so different from usual though?' he mocked himself. It was too early in the morning to fight himself. It was too early in the morning to get up.  
  
"Oi! Padfoot, get your lazy arse up!" Yelled a voice that probably woke up the whole common room.  
  
Right when Sirius turned around to tell Remus (as that was the voice) to shut-up and let him sleep, he was greeted a good morning by a glass of water being thrown in his face.  
  
Sirius jumped straight out of his bed as the chilling water hit his face. He squinted through his watery eyes to glare at Remus who was looking satisfied on his own bed (on the right side of Sirius' bed).  
  
"Moony! What in Merlin's name did you do that for?!?!"  
  
Sirius took to notice that he and Remus were the only ones up. 'Peter and James could sleep through the next apocalypse' Sirius thought shaking his head. Remus was already fully clothed and had his brown leather book bag over on shoulder. Apparently, Remus had been the first one up, as always. 'He won't be up so early next full moon' Sirius thought bitterly.  
  
"You were sleep talking mate. It was quite annoying"  
  
"Liar" Sirius cursed as he went to change out of his wet pajamas.  
  
"I don't lie" Remus said with a smirk  
  
"Of course you do, you are right now"  
  
"Ok, well I've had enough of these 'brain wars for the insane', I'm going to get some breakfast, I'll see you there"  
  
"Why are you leaving now?!?" Sirius yelled down to the stair well that Remus had just left through "It's not like their going to run out of kippers of anything" Sirius shook his head as he pulled a black cashmere jumper over his head.  
  
Sirius looked over to the beds of his two other best friends who were sound asleep (except for Peter whose snores, which would usually be pretty loud if the boys hadn't put a silencing charm around his bed curtains. James had a smile plastered to his face, it looked like he was having a good dream. 'Probably about Lily' Sirius joked to himself.  
  
But that's when it hit him like a speeding bullet. Now he knew why he had such a headache. It was because he had tried to.. no wait! He 'did' kiss Lily. 'Maybe now people will take your seriously' Sirius thought 'Yeah, seriously mental' he argued with himself.  
  
'Ok, well the best thing to do is. to just ignore it, forget it ever happened, that's all. Lily won't say anything' Sirius rationed with himself.  
  
Sirius was able to convince himself that this was true. This allowed him to be able to remain clam enough so that he could be his usual joking self. At least James and Peter didn't suspect anything. ************************************************************************  
  
"Hey Padfoot, what's wrong?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow at the breakfast table the morning.  
  
Sirius didn't really want to stay and wait for James and Peter. He knew that James didn't suspect anything, but knowing himself, Sirius probably would give it away with his eyes.  
  
Sirius had kept his head down on the table the whole time since he sat down next to Remus. He was hoping Remus would just believe he was tired. But he could tell by the hint of worry in Remus' voice that he knew something was up. 'That's what I get for having a best friend who reads too much' Sirius thought resentfully to himself.  
  
"Ah, nothing just er- trouble with mum, that's all" Sirius tried to quickly lie. He thought he had done a pretty good job to cover it up.  
  
There was a couple second of pause in which Remus gave Sirius the most peculiar look before Remus spoke again.  
  
"You know Padfoot. you really are the worst liar I know"  
  
"I'm not lying I swear! My mum was uh- seeming like she was depressed and I started to get worried about her now because. Nestor (Mrs. Black's owl) came late last night and said- and wrote, I mean, that mum was going mad now. And yeah."  
  
Remus' eyebrows rose so high that Sirius didn't even know it was humanly possible. 'Maybe I really am that bad of a liar' Sirius contemplated with himself.  
  
".But Sirius" Remus started with his face consorted in confusion "I mean. you mum is ALWAYS bloody mad. you only said so a week ago"  
  
"Yeah well, I." Sirius started but got interrupted as someone slipped in the seat across from him and Remus and cleared their throat loudly.  
  
It was James, and he was looking his usual lively self. He motioned for Peter to take a seat on his left side before pouring himself some pumpkin juice.  
  
"So what are we all chatting about then? Come on, spill it" James said half- laughing.  
  
"Nothing I." But again- Sirius got interrupted. This time by James calling over to someone who (by the looks of where James head was turned to) was just a bit farther behind Remus (for Remus was closest to the beginning of the table).  
  
Sirius cocked his head in the same direction James was looking. To his horror he saw Lily Evans standing quite still with her back to them all. By the looks of it and the expression on her face, Sirius was quite sure Lily had been trying to make a run for it before anyone had seen her. Her plan seemed to have been squashed though.  
  
"Oi Lil! What are you doing, come sit with us!" James called over to her and patted the empty seat next to him.  
  
A year ago, that seat would not have only been already filled, but would've had a few dozen girls surrounding it. James and Sirius had always been the "popular dreamy guys" and most women called them. But once James got with Lily, they knew that seat would always be taken. Of course. that didn't stop them from surrounding Sirius part of the table. And if Sirius had been more himself today, he would've noticed the many girls around him who were trying to get his attention any time he looked their direction.  
  
"Uh." Lily said turning around. She had a nervous expression on her face. 'She's too easy to read' Sirius thought biting his lower lip "You know James. I just remember, I have to. to go to the library, yeah! I told uh- McGonagall I'd meet with her"  
  
"Nonsense Lil, come here!" James said once more. He was pretty oblivious to the peculiar way Lily was acting.  
  
Lily gulped, but finally made her way over to the other side of the table. Just before she sat down, Sirius caught Remus shooting him a baffled look between them both. 'Why do we BOTH have to be such bad liars?' Sirius wondered, kicking himself mentally.  
  
Sirius just tried to ignore all the looks Remus was giving him. He tried to ignore Peter who kept on asking why he was so tired. He tried to ignore the arm that fell over Lily's graceful shoulder; the arm that belonged to his best friend. And most of all he tried to ignore the pleading looks Lily was sending him; the look the suggested "Please meet me so we can talk by ourselves"; the look that ripped at his heart because he knew it was wrong and hated himself for betraying his best friend. He needed help, and fast. He needed someone who would keep his trust, be rational, be understanding, and be able to guide him. And Sirius knew just which fellow Marauder to ask. 


	4. And so the truth comes out

Chapter four- And so the truth comes out  
  
"You WHAT?!?!?" was Remus' initially reaction when Sirius told him what had happened between him and Lily exactly two nights ago now.  
  
Lily and Sirius had been able to avoid any close contact as James was always there with her. Nothing had been said yet, and it was eating Sirius up inside. He had to tell someone and he had finally gotten up the courage to tell Remus (he had been growing more and more curious by the day, unlike James who remained clueless).  
  
When Sirius decided to tell Remus he at least walked up with some confidence. But after what Remus just said, Sirius now felt like a deflated balloon. Sirius had pulled Remus into an empty classroom (professor Binn's classroom to be exact). The room air in the room was stale and dust had filled in every place possible. Sirius was now quite sure that cleaning wasn't an important thing to ghosts.  
  
Remus was now standing up (after having jumped quickly out of his chair only moments ago) staring bug eyed down at Sirius with his mouth open in disbelief. If anything Sirius thought Remus would be somewhat rational even if he were a bit shocked. But this wasn't like the Remus he knew. Sirius realized just how bad of a thing he must've done for Remus to get all over dramatic about it ("or maybe he's at the right level of drama for this" Sirius wondered to himself).  
  
"Uhhhh, I kissed-" Sirius started but got interrupted mid-sentence by Remus  
  
"I KNOW what you said!!! And please don't repeat it again!!!" Remus said raising his voice on every note. Remus then sighed and hung his head while shaking it at the same time. Remus was acting as though he was talking to a two year old who had gotten into the spice rack. "Sirius." Remus said in a much more rational voice. It seemed he was trying to comprehend it all "Oh Sirius. how could you do that??"  
  
"Look, it's not what it seems. really" Sirius said trying to think up a quick excuse. He could see that telling Remus had only made the problem worse. Now he was going to have to get Remus off his back too.  
  
"Sirius-" Remus said bluntly "You kissed Lily, James' girlfriend, James you best pal remember?"  
  
"Yes I remember. ok maybe it's exactly like it seems." Sirius said bitterly. He was getting quite tired of this. Remus wasn't helping at all. Sirius thought that he was just making him feel worse. "I already told you, I'm not sure what came over me. It's a one time thing, I swear"  
  
"Yes, but Sirius you shouldn't have."  
  
"Well I did!!!!" Sirius yelled, losing his temper "I don't need you treating me like a two year old! I asked for advice and you're not giving it to me!!! So stop making me feel worse and STOP NAGGING AT ME FOR WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST!!!!!"  
  
All the vent up anger Sirius had bottled up from the past days came spilling out. It was not fully Remus' fault, and he knew that. But at the moment, Sirius was too confused to really care.  
  
In rage, Sirius strode quickly over the classroom door and opened it. He slammed the door behind him without even a look back to Remus. The sound of the door hit the wall cut through the silence that followed Sirius' heated words like a serrated knife.  
  
'Great, just great!!!!' Sirius scolded himself in his mind 'Now what are you going to do? The last thing you need is a fight with Remus, he could've helped you!!!'  
  
"Oh shut-up!!!" Sirius bitterly muttered under his breath, fighting his own conscious. 


End file.
